How many…?

How many…?

My husband and I took a road trip to Michigan recently for my family’s reunion.  My Mom had 10 siblings.  I have so many cousins I lost count.  They have kids.  My family is big.  And opinionated.  And fun.  We had a lovely time, but honestly, by the end of the three days, the joke between my husband and I was “How many Foltz’s does it take to….”!

I was washing dishes in a quiet kitchen and it was like my relatives could smell the stink of peace!  It took about two minutes before I was surrounded by three aunts and two cousins trying to butt their hands into the sink or hen peck the pile I had precariously placed on the dish towel to dry!

I was setting up camp chairs and suddenly I was surrounded by three uncles, a second cousin and my brother-in-law trying to tell me the circle of chairs wasn’t big enough.  There were more camp chairs in their trucks and SUV’s!

My hubby and I were lighting the fire and suddenly we were surrounded by two uncles a couple aunts and a cousin telling us not to use leaves, use leaves, find newspaper, use tissue paper, break up the sticks more, take some wood off, add more wood!

Best bet.  Let however many Foltz’s do it who want to do it.  And take a seat!

How many Foltz’s does it take to change a lightbulb?  I don’t know. I used the flashlight on my phone when it went out.  The porta potty wasn’t big enough to test that!


Oh…and I’m happy to provide some more entertaining “How many…” jokes for your reading pleasure!

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?  Only one, but the bulb has got to really want to change.

How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb?  Only one. They don’t like to share the spotlight.

How many board meetings does it take to get a lightbulb changed?  This topic was resumed from last week’s discussion but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile…

How many bodybuilders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?  One to do it and five to stand around and say, “Man, you’ve got such awesome muscles. You’re so cut.”

How many Einsteins does it take to change a lightbulb?  That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It’s all relative.

How many managers does it take to change a lightbulb?  One to get the bulb and two to get the phone number to dial one of their subordinates to actually change it.